I… April 22, 2008

Thanks Kim for the inspiration, what a great exercise in vulnerability and insight.

i am verwhelmed with life (in a good and bad way)

i think:more than I believe

i know:my story is still being written

i want: to have a more active role in co-authoring my story

i have: all I could ever want AND need

i wish: my family lived close

i hate:putting things away, and having a house waiting for me to do just that

i hear: Eli running around and Millie screaming at him

i feel:like I don’t want to run today

i miss:performing, of any kind

i fear:missing the mark, kids, God, marriage, friends, etc.

i smell:Apple Jacks

i crave: Perogies

i search: For who I am inside this “body”

i wonder: If I will ever be happy with myself

i regret: Gaining 40 lbs with Brennan

i love: The kids and husband that gave me these extra 50 lbs!

i ache: For Justice

i care: For people, all of them.

i always: Lay down with my kids at bed time and nap time

i am not: slow to anger

i believe: That everyone deserves love and has a reason not to

i dance: like I think I can

i sing: all day long!

i cry: at everything

i don’t always: tell people I love them, when I do

i fight: being overbearing

i write: because it is the closest thing to adult conversation I get somedays.

i win: because I am willing to do what God has led me too

i lose: when I forget why I do the things I do

i never: can spend too much time with David

i confuse: what other people think about me and what I think about myself

i listen: less than I should, especially to my kids

i can usually be found: at the gym at 9, wondering why lately!

i am scared: of way too many things

i need: more patience

i am happy about: my parents coming this weekend and seeing my family soon!

Wow, that was all over the place.  I am sure you can see some thru-lines there, but just writing in the moment.

Peace be with you.